Depressive eating habits

My grandmother in law asked if I was pregnant by the looks of my pants and top. Not only is it not true but it's completely rude!  I'm sure she is just anticipating the news of our expecting, as am I, but how come some elder folk feel its OK to say whatever they want?!   I do love her and smile and listen to all her "words of wisdom" like a good granddaughter in law. Nonetheless, this is not very good for my self esteem granny

To tell you the truth, I have been eating chocolate and goodies lately, like everyday.  Sweet tooth maybe, but I think it's because I'm stressed.  I'm not one of the people that stops eating, rather I justify that I deserve that Snickers or cookie when feeling stressed. Yuck! My weight watcher account would not approve.  I can't shake the feeling of exhaustion for my current situation, the monkey on my back, my nemesis...the inevitable.

I talked to my boss about it.  I love her!!  She's the kinda of elderly woman that doesn't say whatever she is thinking.  She is the kind of person you want to hug like your own grandmother (who doesn't say inappropriate things). I explained to her that I've been questioning God and she feels that is counterproductive.  God isn't doing this to me. He has a plan and purpose for my journey.  She stopped asking why her only grandchild was born with kidney failure, heart failure and the need for feeding tubes.  I couldn't help but shed a tear for Boo Boo and feel stupid for my minnute problems. 

I couldn't sleep last night so I decided to open up my Bible.  Gus Lloyd on Catholic Radio SiruxXM plays Bible Roulette where he just opens a page at random.  I did that and came accross Psalm 31: 9-10 and 31:14-17

 Be merciful to me, LORD, for I am in distress;
   my eyes grow weak with sorrow,
   my soul and body with grief.
¹⁰ My life is consumed by anguish
   and my years by groaning;
my strength fails because of my affliction,
   and my bones grow weak.

¹⁴ But I trust in you, LORD;
   I say, “You are my God.”
¹⁵ My times are in your hands;
   deliver me from the hands of my enemies,
   from those who pursue me.
¹⁶ Let your face shine on your servant;
   save me in your unfailing love.
¹⁷ Let me not be put to shame, LORD,
   for I have cried out to you;
but let the wicked be put to shame
   and be silent in the realm of the dead.

Holy smokes did this hit home.  "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven"  I know it's true.  I know my time will come but my life is at a stand still.  For a libra who loves balance, my life very much unbalanced at this point.  Hobbies will have to be put on hold.  My body will have to suffer because I can't work out.  I get to fill my brain with even more knowledge of my area of focus until...it kills me....I can accept that I suppose. 

Hitting the books,
Angela