"Serenity Now," says Kramer

Happy Halloween!  One of my favorite times of year.  October is coming to a close, and what a busy month it has been. I'm truly enjoying life.  Hubby and I are doing so well, more in love than ever.  We are finally living our life the way we want. We went looking at homes this weekend near the cottage.  Still looking for the perfect home for the perfect price.  I spent a lot of time knitting this weekend, alone in my own thoughts, talking to God, making decisions or trying to anyways. Rob says I try to make things happen instead of having things fall into place.  True.  I need a prayer to help me through these times. 

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will direct your paths.

Proverbs 3, 5-6

At this very moment as I'm typing this, St. John Providence Hospital called. I have set up interview for a full time OT for inpatient rehab.  It's a Catholic Hospital! The director stated that spirituality is "very important" in providing patient care with a holistic approach.  Well, that's right up my alley.  My entire college career and thereafter, I've wanted to work in inpatient rehab at a hospital.  That has been my passion. Is this a sign from God?! I think so...wish me luck!!

Blessings and health,

Angela <3 <3

Transition Period

I'm officially licensed in the State of MI to practice Occupational Therapy.  What a journey it has been.  I have an interview at Detroit Medical Center (DMC) Sinai Grace Hospital in inpatient and acute care setting. 

My emotions are so up and down lately.  I cry at the littlest things, from thinking about leaving my students to sweet text messages from my husband.  I don't know what's going on. I'm sitting here on the verge of tears as I type away.

Truth is, I'm terrified for this change. A change of employer, change of coworkers, change of patients, change of routine, change of home. My dad always tell me I'm the bravest person he knows. My husband says he's proud of me for getting an interview.  The job recruiter said she has called employers and no one is interested in speaking to me yet.  Well I don't need her.  I found this opportunity on my own. 

Comfy cushiony job has a lot of perks, as you seen the Pro list. If this new job hires me, it will be a challenge with my patients and skills. I will have to get more serious. I will have to grow up.  Are we ever ready to grow up?  I've been waiting from a sign from God to help me with my decisions. Sometimes I think I don't listen to him.  My prayer is that I shut off my own mind to hear God's words. Thank you ladies for your advice.

Holy Spirit Hear my Prayers,
Angela <3

Decisions, Decisions

Sometimes I'm so indecisive and wishy-washy...I can't stand it.  Its annoying but that's me!  Indecisive Libra..what the heck.  Rob and I decided that if we find the most amazing deal for our dream home, we will jump on it.  I found this awesome home in Gregory near our family cottage.  I immediately contact our realtor to check it out.  Come to find out, our friends already put an offer on it.  I was disappointed but they deserve it!  So with that being said, I'm now thinking about staying at my current job if we do find a home out that way. I love/dislike my current job for several reasons. I came up with a Pros and Cons list.  Tell me what you think; I would like some opinions please.

Pros	Cons
Friendly staff and great boss	Drive to work
Great hours	Low Pay
Invested 2 1/2 years	Not population I want
Paid holidays, school system days off: MLK, etc.	Not too good with Sensory Integration
Self motivated learning	Having to learn everything on my own
Make own schedule	Need more learn more school based practices
Love the students	Wear and tear of my car
Students respect me
Maintenance to fix things for me
Own office which I designed
Opportunities to conduct research
Wonderful organization, philosophy and mission
President & VP’s are fascinated with my work
Beautiful campus
$3,000 continued edu every year to stay for 2 years
Our school is expanding
Opportunity for Fieldwork Site
Can do yoga, coping skills, stress management
Reimbursement for $500 to stay 2 years
Own parking space
Able to control own heating and cooling
Sensory Integration is the future
Opportunities to become a Director
Opportunities to create a Rehab staff i.e. PT, SLP
Able to leave early, accumulate flex hours
Don’t have to punch in
Able to get any assessment, equipment and supplies through Starr’s budget
Able to get other work done i.e. pay bills, make important phone calls on lunch hour
Make my own forms, data sheets, documents, etc.

Here are some pictures of the Sensory Room I designed:

Obviously more Pros but again, I am torn. Does money = happiness?  No but it means more $ to pay off our bills and live comfortably.  I could get a second job as a contingent worker for extra income.  This might help me decide if I like something better. Overall, I am grateful that I have a job I actually enjoy.

Puzzled,
Angela <3

Walking on Sunshine

I'm having a much better day, Thank you Jesus.  I talked to hubby about our future and it took a lot of stress off of me.  We know what we want out of life.  God's will is neverending, so I need to RELAX and enjoy each day. 

This may be boring (sorry) but I am going to use this blog to track down my exercise routines.  Maybe I'll inspire someone else because that is what I aim to do.  I made a serious committment to get healthy and detox.  It's about damn time.

Sunday- Jog around the block with Mary Jane.  20 Minutes DVD- Yoga Fat Blasting. 20 Minutes DVD- Yoga Essentials

Our Baby Girl :)

Monday- Went to the Gym for a 30 minutes routine as that was all time allowed.  Treadmill 3.6 speed for 15 minutes.  Arizona Heat Room for 15 minutes to sweat out impurities.

It feels good to exercise.  I'm hopeful to do something at least 3-4x per week.  Wish me luck!

Moving and a Groovin,
Angela <3 <3

Inhale, Exhale

I'm a little sad right now.  I'm waiting on my license to practice in the state of MI and they have to "review" my past because I answered "yes" to one question.  I have to check back in 3 weeks.  Lord is making patience become quite the virtue for me. I need my license to practice, to get a new job, to start another path.

Our friends just bought a house, which sounds like Rob and I's dream home.  So we are a little jealous but happy because they work extremely hard and deserve it.  Rob and I know what we want.  House with 3-4 bedrooms, a basement, fireplace, an acre or 3, large kitchen and fairly new. Where exactly?  I don't know.  I don't know what job I am going to end up.  Everything is dependent upon my job.  Do I find a home first then a job or vica versa? I have applied for some jobs that interested me! Do I contact other job recruiters, continue to job search on my own or do I wait for my initial recruiter to contact me??? My patience is running thin...

I guess the bright side is that I can take these 3 weeks to detox and focus on becoming more healthy.  I started working out yesterday.  Mary Jane and I jogged around the block.  I did Fat Blasting Yoga and Yoga Essentials DVD by my favorite, Denise Austin.  I plan on going to the gym today to sweat out my toxins. 

I thought I had everything planned out.  Now I'm feeling lost, and down with not knowing what is going to happen.  So many factors to consider in these decisions. PLEASE DEAR GOD...HELP ME RELAX AND LET YOU DO THE WORK.

Breathing,
Angela <3 <3

Don't Sweat The small Stuff

I need some prayers please.  My patience is being tested these days in many areas of my life.  My students are getting on my nerves, sorry to say but I'm getting a little tired of selfish, only child syndrome behaviors. Knitting is making me upset because I have difficulty fixing my mistakes as I am still very very amateur. I'd like be become pregnant in the near future. I am becoming impatient with hearing from the staffing company on potential new jobs.  I am losing patience with driving to work...it seems longer and longer everyday.  Ahhhh....

"But if we hope for what is still unseen by us, we wait for it with patience and composure." Romans 8: 25
"By your steadfastness and patient endurance you shall win the true life of your souls."Luke 21: 19

Dear Lord,
Please help me with my struggles with patience.  Help me realize that Your love is never changing.  Patience makes me stronger, wiser and tolerant of little things.  Help me to realize the future is unknown and to be happy with life as it is today. Allow me to view my mistakes as opportunities. Help me to pour love into my knitting patterns and not frustration. Allow me to wait for the perfect job You want me to have.  Help me to understand a baby will come when You want him to. Help me to be thankful for a car that is reliable. With Your help, I will achieve greater things and  "win true life" filled with happiness. Thank you for everything!

In Jesus Name,
Angela <3 <3

Be Impeccable with your Word

There's a saying, "Treat people the way you want to be treated."  But there is also a saying, "You get treated in life they way you teach people to treat you."  Interesting, huh?  In other words, people send indirect messages to others, unconscious expectations they have on themselves, and then to reverse behavior can be either detrimental or positive.  Women especially need to take ownership of their life.  We have to love ourselves and demand respect from others.  Those who are treated like doormats unconsciously send the message that they are not good enough, or they don't believe they deserve better, etc.  Well that's just bullshit.  You are somebody. You do deserve to be happy.  You do deserve the best in life. You are special and unique.

The Four Agreements is a wonderful Toltec Wisdom book.  It states we make agreements or believes about ourselves, the way we are supposed to live and so on.  If someone makes an agreement that they are ugly, fat or whatever, that is an agreement made with themselves and therefore they believe it.  In my world with my students, that thinking is called negative self talk. The 1st agreement is "Be Impeccable with your Word."  Only speak the truth and use loving words 1st about yourself and others.  Gossip is a form of black magic, poison.  With one negative word, the world can change.  Prime example: Hitler.  His word has such influence and billions have died because his word was so powerful.  Make an attempt to speak kindly of yourself.  God created you perfectly.  There is nothing wrong about your being.

Keep in mind today Proverbs 4:24

²⁴ Keep your mouth free of perversity;
   keep corrupt talk far from your lips.

Love yourself because as my favorite fitness guru, Denise Austin would say, "YOU ARE WORTH IT!"

Ciao Bella,
Angela <3 <3

Hands build a House, Hearts build a Home

This weekend was my niece Elizabeth's 1st birthday party, Halloween themed at our house.  Our home has turned into the party house but more importantly a house of celebration. We love to entertain our family and friends. Holidays, birthdays, girls night, themed parties...all in the name of good fun, food and spirits.  Crystal did a great job decorating, putting together games and crafts for the kiddos, and made all the food herself at her pizzeria.  Fun times!

Overall it was a success. I'm glad our home can make so many memories :)

Happy Monday,

Angela

Forgiveness

My job presented a speaker, Azim Khamisa who has spoken all over the world on teaching how to achieve inner peace through forgiveness of others. He was so inspirational and his story so moving. From his biography:

"Following the murder of his only son Tariq in 1995 through a senseless, gang-related incident, Azim chose the path of forgiveness and compassion rather than revenge, and this amazing choice led to the establishment of the Tariq Khamisa Foundation (TKF) and his subsequent forgiveness work which has reached millions through international speaking, (in 1996 – a crowd of 300,000), public and corporate workshops, video and audio recordings and four published books, including the award-winning From Murder to Forgiveness and the Random House book The Secrets of the Bulletproof Spirit, coauthored with Jillian Quinn."

Azim met the family of the murderer.  He started the foundation with the grandfather of the murderer and has created an empire of love and forgiveness with a message of how it could be prevented.  Azim realized that two families has suffered, both were at either ends of the gun...1 is now in prison while the other no longer with us.  He decided to forgive the gang member and continues to write and visit him in prison.  Tony is his name and it has been 16 year since Tariq's death.  Tony is now a changed man; Azim wants him to work at his foundation when he is released.

A wave of awe and wonderment swept over the students and staff as they listened to Azim pour his heart out.  A student asked, "How did you forgive him?"  Azim replied that decided to do it for himself; he did not want to live in anger; it is not healthy.  His strength came from God the Almighty.

What a great message! I almost lost myself in a ocean of tears as I too was surprised to hear his story. Then I thought, why hold onto grudges, anger and misfortunes? Although he had lost Tariq, he found forgiveness in his heart and now speaks on behalf of his only son to millions of people each year. Violence and revenge creates darkness in our hearts. Our souls become black and spiritless. After the revenge is carried through, then what? More people hurt, wanting revenge, and the cycle never stops.  His message is to prevent violence through the forgiveness.  I bet some people do not know they have the capacity to forgive.

Search inside your soul; listen to your heart telling you to forgive someone today.

Peace be with you,
Angela <3 <3

Alpha and the Omega...the beginning and the end

Well, I've been corresponding with job recruiters,  and may have found a replacement for me at the present job.  Cross your fingers for a smooth transition!  I want to help them out because apparently, therapists are hard to find. On the other hand, I hope a placement will want me as their therapist.  I pray that it will be a place I can settle in and remain established for a long time. This is an end of something that was so experiential for me.  Such a blessing, and opportunity.  It has not stunk going to work.  I got to see this out my window everyday; here's a few snap shots of particularly beautiful mornings.

Such beauty.  It always put me in a great mood.

As far as beginnings, I've starting my knitting group on Wednesday nights.  A wealth of knowledge, experience and conversation lingered as I sat with elderly woman and some same aged gals, learning how to perform the perfect stitch.  It was so enjoyable that I will go back next week too.  Yay for hobbies!

I hope everyone has a wonderful Thursday.

God Bless,
Angela <3 <3

Wisdom Wednesday

I'm finding bible scripture as a coping skill, a way of life, a walk in faith.  One might see me as a "bible thumper" but I see it as being a disciple of the Lord as I post beautiful, meaningful scripture that I find helps me with living.  My mind is so wrapped up on the things I can't stand the most, drama.  It's always the forefront of my being.  I've been living in this hell for quite some time and it has consumed me like revolving doors as it goes round and round my world.   I want to stop. I want to escape evil thoughts and feelings.   I don't get involved with other peoples affairs, yet everybody knows about whats going on in my life. I don't believe in facebook, yet everybody knows what I'm doing. 

After pondering and praying, I came up across Proverb 4:20-27:

My son, pay attention to what I say;
   turn your ear to my words.
²¹ Do not let them out of your sight,
   keep them within your heart;
²² for they are life to those who find them
   and health to one’s whole body.
²³ Above all else, guard your heart,
   for everything you do flows from it.
²⁴ Keep your mouth free of perversity;
   keep corrupt talk far from your lips. ²⁵ Let your eyes look straight ahead;
   fix your gaze directly before you.
²⁶ Give careful thought to the^[c] paths for your feet
   and be steadfast in all your ways.
²⁷ Do not turn to the right or the left;
   keep your foot from evil.

"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it."  Control your thoughts, as it shapes your life.  In other words, our thoughts and feelings directly affect our actions and words. If I do not engage in corrupt talk then according to Law of Attraction and Proverbs 4, I can control my thoughts and feelings and the chains of drama can finally free me.  Only fill my heart with Love and I shall get love in return.  I fill my heart with word of God and He will walk with me in life.  Protect me from the evil because Good always beats Evil!

No matter what happens in life, I am completely trusting and faithful that I will be okay.  I am a survivor and believer.  Nothing can stop me.  Not even the skeptic, the judgemental, the blamers, the what if'ers. I walk in faith; therefore, love will take me places I've never dreamed.

Amen sistas,
Angela <3 <3

Hold on for One more Day

I had a friendly passenger this morning as I drove to work.  The biggest, most scariest spider I had ever seen.  He traveled with me for 80 miles and did not loose grip to my passenger mirror. He then was swatted across Starr's parking lot, so now he has a new home lol.  What are the odds of him staying on there for 1 hour and 15 minutes?

It got me thinking metaphorically about being a survivor and holding on to dear life, even when it doesn't seem to bright.  What does it mean to you to have True Happiness? I am constantly searching for inner peace and balance as I am a scaled Libra.  A perfect blend of love, happiness, and joy.

 

Psalm 1 True Happiness

 ¹ Blessed is the one
   who does not walk in step with the wicked
or stand in the way that sinners take
   or sit in the company of mockers,
² but whose delight is in the law of the LORD,
   and who meditates on his law day and night.
³ That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,
   which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither—
   whatever they do prospers.  ⁴ Not so the wicked!
   They are like chaff
   that the wind blows away.
⁵ Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,
   nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.
 ⁶ For the LORD watches over the way of the righteous,
   but the way of the wicked leads to destruction.

Pure poetry. There were comments made last night by a family member that made me angry.  Another, "mind your own business" type comment.  I realized the Devil was using those words to make me upset and speaking through the person. I opened my Bible and meditated on this Psalm.  We have no place in our house for Satan.  God has and continues to bless hubby and I, and I will not stand for any evil or rain on my parade comments or remarks.

All is better :) God if victorious again!  Inner peace wins!

Love,
Angela <3 <3

Libra Moon

Welcome October! I'm officially out of my 20's. It feels nice to be grown and accomplished, thank you Jesus. The weekend family party went well.  Lots of good food and spirits.  Everyone was gone by 11pm which seems so early, but that's how us old folks do it ;)

  My goals for this year are:

• Be assertive and let people know how I really feel
• Make a healthy housing for a baby
• Focus on my family and career- No more drama
• Let go of the past- past pains, grudges, failures
• Surrender and remain humble in front of the Lord

The term "humility" comes from the Latin word humilitas, a noun related to the adjective humilis, which may be translated as "humble", but also as "grounded", "from the earth", You can be humble and strong at the same time. You can talk courteously and lovingly, regardless of the situation—even if you need to be firm or take strong actions.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen (Ephesians 4:29).

This speaks to gossip as well.  I've found such simplicity in life and attribute a lot to the Law of Attraction when speaking lovingly about others.  When speaking in gossip tongues, it can take on a new life form that becomes ugly really fast.  Its easy to get wrapped up in conversations, and then feel a need to speak about it with others. And before long, the whole world takes sides, puts blames, has feelings and so on and so forth. Gossip is poison; therefore, my mission is to rebuke all negative thoughts and words against others today and always. 

Practice Test:  Speak nicely about everyone you come in contact today. And see God's blessings towards your humility unfold.

Happy Monday,
 <3 <3 Angela