Flower Power

Working in the country, gardening, and traveling the states this year has made my appreciation for the outdoors and nature grow.  Once I get something in my head it's hard to let it go until I fulfill it.  I call it a blessing and a curse :)

Today's adventures lead me to picking wildflowers. I searched all over Westland for these flowers: side of the road, the library, the Bailey Center...anywhere I could find special flowers peeking through.  This is what I gathered.

Aren't they pretty?!

Simple pleasures make me smile :)

P.S. Since my last blog, I've been more responsible in getting to work on time haha.

Love,

Angela



Holy Spirit Hear My Prayers

I purusing second hand stores for inspiration for redecorating our bedroom and came across this picture.

I was struck by how gentle and kind the artist made His eyes.  It's as if He's saying, "I'm listening."

Sleep is a rich man's gold

I've been doing a creative expression activity with my girls at work, an Acrostic Poem.  So I decided to write one myself and wanted to share with you. I suggest you do one too :)

A is for Angels watching over me
N is for Never tells a secret and never on time
G is for God is #1
E is for Elegant and classy
L is for Lovable to all friends and family
A is for Adventurous to try new things

J is for Just being me
O is for Open to suggestions and feedback
H is for Honoring my husband
N is for New to the idea of motherhood
S is for Showing appreciation for the little things in life
O is for Observing my students
N is for Nieces whom I love dearly

Lets talk about the first "N", particularly the never on time part.  This is a chronic problem.  I think it dates back to junior high and high school days when I used to drive my mother crazy.  She is extremely punctual, early in fact.  Mom would actually spray water in my face or pull my covers off of me. Where did I get my sleepy head traits? Dad always told me that sleep is a rich man's gold.  Wealthy, smart people do not make money and enrich people's lives by being tired. Maybe that's why I'm such a snoozer! Here's a few hypotheses why this is true. I suffer from heavy allergies and we all the effects of Benedryl.  I was an athletic all my life and loved what great sleep it brought me.  This continued in my college years but at that time it was often due to drunken hazed nights that hindered me from getting up on time.  Poor Nikki would try her hardest. 

Well I no longer work out regularly, take benedryl or drink on the week days but the problem still persists.  What the heck! I'm lucky I'm salary and don't have to punch in, but I need to be more responsible.  Giving myself extra time means less anxiety, less road rage and longevity of my vehicle. 

Maybe tomorrow I will be on time :)

Chow,
Angela

Passion, Purpose and Patience

When the Greeks died, they asked, "Did he have passion?"  Occupational Therapy is my passion and has been since the 9th grade!  If this is not my purpose, then I don't know what is.  My passion is with adult patients with physical and neurological disabilities. But working with students with developmental, emotional, cogntive and mental disablities has opened my eyes to new possibilites.

I get down and think of all my "problems" when really I have minimal.  These adolescents are exposed to horrible things at an early age.  Anger problems that I can't even fathom.  They need a listening ear most of the time.  They need to figure things out, problem solving and develop positive coping skills.  They need me. Which brings me to realize that life has it's purpose for me.  God has put me in this position for some reason and I anxiously await to see it unfold. 

When I was searching for my soulmate after multiple disapointments, I thought my purpose was to become a nun.  I'm not joking :)  I decided if that was my purpose then I would marry God and be His Sister in Faith.  I'd give up sex...eeek haha.  But I was serious!  I heard in my head during the heartfelt prayers "Patience".  It was not audiable where it was out loud, but I definately heard the word inside my head.  Call me crazy but here I am almost 1 year of marriage to man who treats me like a queen. 

I get angry and upset often about my current issues.  I am human.  But I am thankful for my journey thus far. I continue to smile and praise God for the life he lets me live.  I patiently wait for my time to come.

Amen,
Angela

WHEN IS IT MY TURN?!

I'm so pissed right now.  I'm abolutely angry.  I can't talk about it anymore.  No one wants to hear how I dislike studying  for something they make entirely too hard to pass.  Why couldn't I passed long time ago?  Why do I have to continue to do this????????? 

A week of fairytales, rainbows, and pots of gold are all fine and dandy.  I'm not discounting my new outlook or positivity.  But I started this blog to get things out.  SO RIGHT NOW I'm upset, disappointed, bored, frustrated....you name it. 

Internal motivation is........? Absent at the present time. Time is ticking and I'm afraid of failure, again and again and again.   Why is this happening? 

Dear God in Heaven, know my heart...

Life is full of surprises.  When I came home last night, I noticed this sticky note on the refrigerator.  It looked like my husband handwriting, but I wasn't exactly sure because the content was surprising. It was a prayer written as a poem. The words were poured onto paper from someones soul. Someone was asking God to give him direction; to help him follow a path towards a better life.  That someone was Rob.  I was so impressed how eloquently he wrote.  It warmed my heart that my husband could surrender himself before God, just as I have.  Although we have two different religions, we both believe in God, good karma and showing compassion and love towards others. 

I do not push religion on him, which doesn't make me the best disciple.  However, I believe that by walking with Christ everyday and leading by example will assist hubby in becoming closer in his own way.

Thank you for my life and my lovely wonderful husband.  I am ever grateful.

Love in Christ,
Angela

Life's a Garden. Dig it!

One of my new loves is gardening. It brings such joy to watch things grow and prosper.   Our poor dwarf spruce tree is not doing so well in the spot we planted it so I had to repot him along with other flowers into two separate pots.  Say a little prayer that Mr. Spruce and fellow flowers survive. I'll keep you posted!

Meanwhile, looking around at the other flowers, I noticed flowers that are doing well. This is behind our house.  A guardian angel stands to give flowers of love.

These beauties were nearly dead when I rescued them by putting them in this pot.  I expected the worse, but here they are in full bloom.  Aren't they lovely?!

I had also given up hope on these Impatiens.  But they proved me wrong.  I guess I should have been more "patien" hehe.

Stay tuned for the fate of the others :)

Love, Angela

Fawns in the mist

"Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind.  Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams." 

This was taken on my drive into work.  Look closely.  You can see two fawn under the tree. Mama deer was in the field watching over her babies.  So precious.

"Dee, my mission is clear!"

Listening to 90's on 9 and Lithium channel on SirusXM brings a certain nostalgia that I as a Libra love dearly.  It mainly reminds me of simpler times. The music brings back memories of hanging with my favorite cousin Lauri and growing up as young ladies finding our own identities.  It reminds of junior high when I met my future husband Rob.  I always wondered who I'd end up marrying and never in a million years thought it would be this kid who hung in the same circle as me back then. Other secrets of our past I will not disclose ;) Oh how Life is humorous.

It got me thinking about what inspired me back then.  Cher Horowitz inspired me to dress unique and not give a crap what anyone thought.  Tae Kwon Do inspired me to be confident and disciplined.  Silverchair and Pearl Jam inspired me to give 89x and alternative rock a chance.  Internal motivation inspired me to work hard to be the best at everything I did!

Sometime in between the end of high school til now, I have lost that internal motivation.  Whether it was the college parties, the sorority row or the fraternity boys (the rest you can read in my future book), I have got off track.  I don't have regrets in life and truly believe that things happen for a reason.  But I also believe that we make our own path  and the decisions that we make can alter our lives completely.

It's time to get my mojo back.   I used to want this particular goal of mine to be fulfilled for monetary value.  This is the wrong focus! I now to want to achieve this goal because I am good enough and smart enough to do it! I deserve it and I will continue to work hard to achieve it, just like I have done with everything else in my life.

I've become inspired by new and exciting ideas and goals. My bag of yarn inspires me to knit something wonderful. My great grandmother's sewing machine inspires me to learn quilt making just like grandma did.  The books on my shelf are dying for me to read them; I am inspired to take up pleasure reading permanently. DIY projects inspire me to make our future baby's nursery a dream come true.  Vegetable, fruits and all other yummy foods inspire me to cook healthily for my family.  Oh, I still dress the way I want and don't give a crap hehe.

My new goal is to live happily ever with inspiration coming out of my ears :)

All my love ,
Angela

Take the long way home

  Just wanted to share God's beautiful land I call my job.  This road is what each student and staff travel on to get from building to building on our 300 acre property.

Michigan has such beautiful seasons.  I can't wait to share each season with you!

Beauty Secret: Walk with an invisible crown

Emma Stone quoted her beauty secret is confidence. This hit home because I struggle with poor self body image on a daily basis.  I have had disordered eating and a love-hate relationship with food.  Everyday I battle to get rid of negative, distorted thinking patterns about my weight.  This make me depressed and self loathing.  This makes me weak.

As part of this journey, I plan to "purge" out old emotions, old desires to be sickly skinny.  Besides, my husband loves me for who I am and doesn't mind my curves.  This makes me a woman, not a little girl.  Self acceptance is a what I am working on now.  Loving myself for who and what I am; a mexicana with an hour glass figure.  Like it or lump it, as Kate Winslett would say :) 

It doesn't matter how slim or average or anything way else you are.  Insides matter most to people. Being a good person and showing love and care to others is what counts.  When we learn to be accept and love ourselves, confidence shines through.  Lets walk a little taller today, knowing that each one of us is unique and special in our own little ways.


Con todos mi amor,
Angela

Appreciation: My drive to work

Yes it is long. I sometimes complain about the construction, the harsh winters and semi's that think its okay to cut me off and then give ME the finger. Ugh.  But if I stop and look around, as I often do, I notice the beauty that surrounds me.  The beautiful trees and the wide stretched land of West Michigan.  I get to see the season changes.  I eagerly look to see any deer in the open field. There is a statue of Mary on a hill on the way that I pray to everyday to and from work.  Mary full of Grace, protect us and bring peace to our hearts. I get to listen to my SirusXM radio to all my favorite channels.  I can turn off the radio and be with my private thougthts for that hour and 15 minute drive. I can pray, I can cry, I can sing or laugh out loud.   I can be alone in which many people crave.  I am blessed to have the opportunity every day.

And it goes a little something like this...

I decided to write this blog as an emotional, mental and spiritual outlet.  My vision has been blurred for awhile, mainly tunnel vision to all the negative things around me.  I need to open my eyes to the beauty of life, to what God has given me and appreciate all I have.  I'm sick of being down in the dumps for things I don't have.  I anticipate what I want for the future while being blind to what I have in this moment.  I have it all in the PRESENT.  That's interesting because God gives us a PRESENT everyday when we wake up in the morning. "Thank you Jesus for this day" I say upon waking. 

To be honest, I have been angry at God for a main reason that has been plaguing me for quite some time.  I have not been to church, but I continue to pray.  I need prayer in my life.  I need God.  I'm here to reflect on life's wonderful gifts, find simply pleasures in new hobbies, and discovery myself again as a happy, pleasant person.  This is my journey, my life.